Funny Quotes

Laughter is free therapy. These quotes are here to make you smile, snort, or genuinely laugh out loud. They cover the absurdity of life, the comedy of human nature, and the particular genius of people who can make a serious point while being hilarious.

“It's funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: 'So, what does it take to make it?' Well, first explain to me what you mean by 'making it': Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood?”

Eddie Van Halen

More Funny Quotes

“I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.”

Calvin Trillin

“A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.”

Spike Milligan

“I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.”

Stephen King

“I mean it's funny, playing music, how of course you want it to do well, you want them to like it, but it's not competitive like an election, it's the Olympics, it's not a Formula 1 race. The Billboard charts are just to show you what people like.”

Eddie Van Halen

“People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life.”

Mark Ruffalo

“A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times.”

Billy Corgan

“But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.”

Charlie Sheen

“I recently spent quite a bit of time in Sheffield, England, which is where I'm from. I wouldn't move back there, but it's funny when you spend a bit of time in the place where you were brought up. You kind of realize how that place has had quite a big effect on you or made you a certain way.”

Jarvis Cocker

“We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.”

David Walliams

“It's interesting that whenever I meet some of the other Bond girls, I always have something in common, and it is an interesting sorority. We all share about our Bonds. 'Did your Bond do that?' 'Yes mine did!' So it is quite funny conversations. We may as well be in high school.”

Jane Seymour

“There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.”

Josh Billings

“If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!”

Demetri Martin

“It's funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: 'So, what does it take to make it?' Well, first explain to me what you mean by 'making it': Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood?”

Eddie Van Halen

“I would like to do something modern and possibly funny.”

Dan Stevens

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