“For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.”
Laughter is free therapy. These quotes are here to make you smile, snort, or genuinely laugh out loud. They cover the absurdity of life, the comedy of human nature, and the particular genius of people who can make a serious point while being hilarious.
“Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.”
“For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.”
“I failed to make the chess team because of my height.”
“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”
“I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be?”
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
“Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn't yet historical.”
“I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.”
“It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.”
“The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!”
“Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.”
“A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.”
“There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.”
“People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.”
“It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness.”
“When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.”