“I think serial monogamy says it all.”
Laughter is free therapy. These quotes are here to make you smile, snort, or genuinely laugh out loud. They cover the absurdity of life, the comedy of human nature, and the particular genius of people who can make a serious point while being hilarious.
“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
“I think serial monogamy says it all.”
“It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.”
“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.”
“O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.”
“I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.”
“I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.”
“A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times.”
“We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.”
“Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot.”
“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”
“It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.”
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
“The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.”
“Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.”
“Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.”