“As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.”
Fear
“Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”
CarAll Quotes by Dave Barry
“It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.”
Art“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.”
Age“Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.”
Technology“I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.”
Car“I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.”
War“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”
Travel“To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.”
Teen“I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.”
Computers“The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.”
Funny“The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.”
Religion“The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.”
Computers“I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.”
Good“Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.”
Business“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”
Sports“The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.”
Age“The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.”
Science“Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.”
Religion“Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.”
Relationship“Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.”
Saintpatricksday