“If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.”
Dating is equal parts exciting and terrifying, sometimes in the same evening. These quotes capture the awkwardness, hope, disappointment, and occasional magic of trying to find someone whose weirdness is compatible with yours.
“Right now I'm pretty single... My career is my boyfriend.”
“If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.”
“I'm quite sensitive to women. I saw how my sister got treated by boyfriends. I read this thing that said when you are in a relationship with a woman, imagine how you would feel if you were her father. That's been my approach, for the most part.”
“Right now I'm pretty single... My career is my boyfriend.”
“I don't understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I'm interested in someone, and I don't want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I'm not interested in that person.”
“I've had a little bad, bad media luck the new year. Well, apparently I'm dating Bill Clinton, which makes me nervous. I didn't know, though.”
“I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.”
“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”
“However successful you are, there is no substitute for a close relationship. We all need them.”
“Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen.”
“I'm honest about the journey I've been on, so I definitely don't take dating lightly anymore.”
“It seems essential, in relationships and all tasks, that we concentrate only on what is most significant and important.”
“I want my audience to know me for my work, not because of who I'm dating or what drugs I'm on or what club I went to.”
“Relationships in general make people a bit nervous. It's about trust. Do I trust you enough to go there?”
“Practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion.”
“The rich are different. Their wants are very high maintenance. They'll pick eye color and hair color, all the way down to what she does for a living, what school she went to. Their list can be extremely long. But at the end of the day, dating is dating, because they're human beings.”