Dating Quotes

Dating is equal parts exciting and terrifying, sometimes in the same evening. These quotes capture the awkwardness, hope, disappointment, and occasional magic of trying to find someone whose weirdness is compatible with yours.

“I always say now that I'm in my blonde years. Because since the end of my marriage, all of my girlfriends have been blonde.”

Hugh Hefner

More Dating Quotes

“I'm much more interested in what an actor has to say about something substantial and important than who they're dating or what clothes they're wearing or some other asinine, insignificant aspect of their life.”

Ben Affleck

“I had to find a diet that would kick me back into dating shape, because I know that I can't date at size 8. I have to date at size 2. And it's just a fact of nature. Go get your injections and your chemical peels. You gotta look good to attract a man.”

Patti Stanger

“I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.”

Graham Norton

“You know, the man of my dreams might walk round the corner tomorrow. I'm older and wiser and I think I'd make a great girlfriend. I live in the realm of romantic possibility.”

Stevie Nicks

“Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.”

Doug Coupland

“I suppose I was a little bit of what would be called today a nerd. I didn't have girlfriends, and really I wasn't a very social boy.”

Charles Kuralt

“I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.”

Mitch Hedberg

“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.”

Rita Rudner

“I'm not very experienced with boys or the whole dating thingy.”

Vanessa Hudgens

“People say, 'Just say who you're dating. Then people will stop being so ravenous about it.' It's like, No they won't! They'll ask for specifics.”

Kristen Stewart

“My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”

Jenny McCarthy

“The Google algorithm was a significant development. I've had thank-you emails from people whose lives have been saved by information on a medical website or who have found the love of their life on a dating website.”

Tim Berners-Lee

“I am a hopeless romantic and I love to spoil my girlfriends.”

Orlando Bloom

“We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one.”

Moon Unit Zappa

“Evolution is unobservable. It's based on blind faith in a few dry bones and on unreliable dating systems in which the gullible trust. Kids should be allowed to make up their own minds about this issue, and not be censored to 'one side is all we will let you hear.'”

Ray Comfort

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