“Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.”
Car“Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.”
Failure“Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.”
Car“You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.”
Fear“Christmas makes everything twice as sad.”
Sad“Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.”
Failure“In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich.”
Future“If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”
Courage“The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.”
Alone“People will always choose more money over more sex.”
Money“Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.”
Politics“If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.”
Pet“Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking.”
Love“High school is such a shared experience in North American culture.”
Experience“Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.”
Nature“Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.”
Famous“If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.”
Failure“Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.”
Dating“When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.”
Future“A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.”
Good“I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'”
Future“Technology favors horrible people.”
Technology