“Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.”
Marriage
“In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.”
WeddingAll Quotes by Groucho Marx
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
Best“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”
Funny“Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.”
Life“Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.”
Humor“Humor is reason gone mad.”
Humor“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”
Age“Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.”
Art“In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.”
Wedding“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”
Art“I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”
Medical“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
Funny“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.”
Time“No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.”
Time“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”
Morning“It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.”
Relationship“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
Funny“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Wedding“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”
Medical“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
Intelligence