“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.”
Pets love you in a way that no human being quite manages — without conditions, without judgment, and with an enthusiasm that does not dim over time. These quotes celebrate the animals who make our lives warmer, funnier, and less lonely.
“If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.”
“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.”
“If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.”
“There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.”
“There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also.”
“What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.”
“Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.”
“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”
“I don't have pet peeves I have whole kennels of irritation.”
“What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.”
“I have the same pet peeve as Anderson Cooper, which is bare feet in public. I hate it. It so grosses me out, especially in New York. Oh my God, New York in the summer with people and their feet in their sandals and their flip-flops, like get it away!”
“When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be.”
“I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.”
“I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.”
“I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.”
“I have a lot of plants and fish and a pet lizard and Venus flytraps. I have a whole ecosystem in my room, like a running waterfall and different lights and sensors set on digital timers.”