Pets love you in a way that no human being quite manages — without conditions, without judgment, and with an enthusiasm that does not dim over time. These quotes celebrate the animals who make our lives warmer, funnier, and less lonely.
“I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.”
“A pet store is a celebration of dogs' existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, 'Here, we couldn't think of anything else.' Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there's only so much hoopla applicable to them.”
“The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.”
“We all know the stories about the Human Rights Act... about the illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because, and I am not making this up, he had a pet cat.”
“Pet lovers know that animals sometimes understand us better than we do, and the annals of human sin and desire provide plenty of stories to drive the point home.”
“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.”
“Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
“Vinyl is the real deal. I've always felt like, until you buy the vinyl record, you don't really own the album. And it's not just me or a little pet thing or some kind of retro romantic thing from the past. It is still alive.”
“The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.”
“A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.”
“I have the same pet peeve as Anderson Cooper, which is bare feet in public. I hate it. It so grosses me out, especially in New York. Oh my God, New York in the summer with people and their feet in their sandals and their flip-flops, like get it away!”
“What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.”
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
“I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.”
“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
“If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.”