“If you have a deep-seated need to be loved and admired every day, you shouldn't be in politics. You should go work at a pet store.”
Pets love you in a way that no human being quite manages — without conditions, without judgment, and with an enthusiasm that does not dim over time. These quotes celebrate the animals who make our lives warmer, funnier, and less lonely.
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
“If you have a deep-seated need to be loved and admired every day, you shouldn't be in politics. You should go work at a pet store.”
“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”
“If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.”
“The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.”
“I could probably give you a list of a dozen pet peeves I have about my own physicality and why I couldn't get a second date.”
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.”
“Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.”
“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.”
“The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.”
“I have a lot of plants and fish and a pet lizard and Venus flytraps. I have a whole ecosystem in my room, like a running waterfall and different lights and sensors set on digital timers.”
“There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.”
“My pet peeve and my goal in life is to somehow get an adjective for 'integrity' in the dictionary. 'Truthful' doesn't really cover it, or 'genuine.' It should be like 'integritus.'”
“Environmentalists hate sprawl - except when it comes to the size of their expansive pet legislation on Capitol Hill.”
“There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also.”