“The best things in life are silly.”
Best
“Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.”
SocietyAll Quotes by Scott Adams
“It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.”
Humor“The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.”
Best“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”
Dating“The only risk of failure is promotion.”
Failure“Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.”
Business“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
Intelligence“Home is pretty utopian.”
Home“There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.”
Pet“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
Art“Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.”
Best“Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.”
Best“Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.”
Home“Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.”
Technology“Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.”
Failure“When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.”
Money“Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.”
Future“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”
Business“Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.”
Forgiveness“The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.”
Family