“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”
Business
“It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.”
HumorAll Quotes by Scott Adams
“The only risk of failure is promotion.”
Failure“Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.”
Technology“We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.”
Knowledge“Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.”
Forgiveness“Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.”
Business“Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.”
Failure“In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.”
Best“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
Art“When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.”
Money“You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.”
Women“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”
Dating“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
Intelligence“The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a company and you have one boss and that boss doesn't like you or wants to get rid of you, you're in trouble. But if you work for yourself, you have lots of bosses, who are your customers, and if a few of them decide they don't like you, that's okay.”
Best“The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.”
Family“Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.”
Home“Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.”
Best“Home is pretty utopian.”
Home“The best things in life are silly.”
Best“It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.”
Humor