“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
Humor“God created man, but I could do better.”
God“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
Humor“God created man, but I could do better.”
God“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'”
Time“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
Courage“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
Funny“Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”
Mom“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”
Mom“There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”
Morning“It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.”
Car“I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.”
Society“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”
Life“Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.”
Success“Children make your life important.”
Life“I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.”
Courage“When humor goes, there goes civilization.”
Humor“A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.”
Diet“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.”
Home“Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.”
Dreams“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”
Birthday“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”
Business