“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.”
God“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.”
God“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.”
God“A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.”
Diet“Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.”
Family“I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”
Life“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.”
Home“Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.”
Graduation“I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.”
Courage“Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.”
Dreams“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”
Courage“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
Humor“Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.”
Design“Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.”
Women“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
Family“Never order food in excess of your body weight.”
Food“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
Car“I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.”
Society“Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.”
Age“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
Women“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
Car“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”
Alone