“Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.”
Design“Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.”
Women“Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.”
Design“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
Thanksgiving“Children make your life important.”
Life“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'”
Time“When humor goes, there goes civilization.”
Humor“Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.”
Success“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.”
God“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”
Mom“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
Funny“For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.”
Home“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
Courage“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”
Alone“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”
Courage“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
Car“Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”
Mom“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
Family“What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?”
Men“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”
Business“Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.”
Car“It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.”
Car