Birthday Quotes

Birthdays are milestones disguised as parties. These quotes capture the joy, nostalgia, and mild existential crisis that can all show up when you add another number. Good for cards, toasts, or just sitting with the strangeness of getting older.

“Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.”

Plautus

More Birthday Quotes

“Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.”

Audrey Hepburn

“Some people won't go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter.”

Anne Lamott

“I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.”

Sloane Crosley

“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'”

Steven Wright

“All my favorite stars, my family and my friends are here. I'm having the happiest birthday that an 18-year-old girl could ever have.”

Brandy Norwood

“Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor's appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops.”

Sloane Crosley

“It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution.”

Annie Dillard

“How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?”

Satchel Paige

“Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.”

Margaret Cho

“Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.”

C. S. Lewis

“I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.”

Johnny Vegas

“My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him.”

Loretta Lynn

“Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.”

Doug Coupland

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”

Erma Bombeck

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