W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

24 quotes

W. C. Fields, an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer, is widely remembered for insights that continue to resonate with readers everywhere. Their reputation for W lends every quote an extra layer of authority. Browse 32 quotes by W. C. Fields that cover ground from Women, Funny, Food, Money, and Life. Here is a taste of their wisdom: "The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."

“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”

— W. C. Fields

Money

All Quotes by W. C. Fields

“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”

— W. C. Fields

Politics

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”

— W. C. Fields

Food

“I like children - fried.”

— W. C. Fields

Funny

“Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”

— W. C. Fields

Women

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”

— W. C. Fields

Humor

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”

— W. C. Fields

Funny

“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”

— W. C. Fields

Family

“Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.”

— W. C. Fields

Great

“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”

— W. C. Fields

Time

“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”

— W. C. Fields

Life

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

— W. C. Fields

Food

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”

— W. C. Fields

Equality

“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”

— W. C. Fields

Trust

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”

— W. C. Fields

Money

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”

— W. C. Fields

Success

“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”

— W. C. Fields

Best

“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”

— W. C. Fields

Death

“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.”

— W. C. Fields

Death

“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.”

— W. C. Fields

Experience

“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.”

— W. C. Fields

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