“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.”
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“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”
TimeAll Quotes by W. C. Fields
“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”
Time“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
Humor“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”
Politics“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.”
Experience“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”
Family“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”
Money“No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.”
Women“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
Food“Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”
Women“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”
Death“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
Food“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.”
Death“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
Food“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”
Best“Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.”
Great“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”
Best“I like children - fried.”
Funny“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”
Money“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”
Equality