“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”
Politics
“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”
BestAll Quotes by W. C. Fields
“I like children - fried.”
Funny“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
Humor“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”
Money“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
Food“Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.”
Great“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
Food“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”
Death“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
Food“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
Funny“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”
Money“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”
Best“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.”
Death“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.”
Experience“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
Success“No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.”
Women“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”
Equality“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”
Time“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”
Trust“Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”
Women