“No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.”
Women
“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”
MoneyAll Quotes by W. C. Fields
“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”
Best“I like children - fried.”
Funny“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.”
Experience“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
Food“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
Food“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
Food“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
Success“Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.”
Great“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”
Politics“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
Humor“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
Funny“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.”
Home“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”
Money“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.”
Death“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”
Money“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”
Death“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”
Trust“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”
Best“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”
Equality