“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
Food
“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”
MoneyAll Quotes by W. C. Fields
“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
Humor“Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.”
Great“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
Food“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”
Family“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
Food“Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”
Women“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.”
Home“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”
Equality“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.”
Death“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”
Death“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
Funny“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.”
Experience“No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.”
Women“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
Success“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”
Best“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”
Politics“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”
Money“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”
Time“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”
Trust