“Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.”
Teacher“The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.”
Government“Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.”
Teacher“Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.”
God“People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.”
Truth“Never fight an inanimate object.”
Funny“I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.”
Experience“Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.”
Health“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”
Pet“Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.”
Funny“The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.”
Great“The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.”
Government“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”
Car“A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.”
Famous“Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.”
Great“I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.”
Travel“There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.”
Women“When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.”
Politics“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
Women“Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.”
Government“Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.”
Government“We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.”
Government