“No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.”
History“People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.”
Truth“No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.”
History“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.”
Men“One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history.”
History“Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.”
Health“If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.”
Great“The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.”
Government“I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.”
Experience“If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.”
Government“The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.”
Failure“Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.”
Marriage“Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.”
Funny“Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.”
Legal“Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.”
Funny“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
Women“The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.”
Great“All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.”
Change“Satire doesn't effect change.”
Change“Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.”
Teacher“Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.”
Government“Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.”
Happiness