“You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.”
Best“Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.”
Legal“You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.”
Best“As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.”
Funny“Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.”
Funny“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.”
Experience“Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.”
Teacher“Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.”
God“People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.”
Truth“There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list.”
Change“The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.”
Government“Satire doesn't effect change.”
Change“Never fight an inanimate object.”
Funny“Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.”
Failure“There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.”
Women“My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.”
Family“What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.”
Government“A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.”
Famous“Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.”
Funny“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
Women“Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.”
Marriage“I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting.”
Art