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P. J. O'Rourke

56 quotes

P. J. O'Rourke (1947–2022) was an American political satirist and journalist known for his sharp, irreverent commentary on politics, economics, and culture. A self-described "Republican Party reptile," O'Rourke brought libertarian sensibilities and laugh-out-loud humor to subjects that most writers treat with deadly seriousness.

“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Experience

All Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

“One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

History

“Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Education

“After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Women

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Pet

“Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Great

“If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Great

“All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Change

“Never fight an inanimate object.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Funny

“The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Government

“Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Funny

“Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Good

“You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Money

“Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Legal

“Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Government

“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Experience

“People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Anger

“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Men

“The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Great

“Satire doesn't effect change.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Change

“There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Change