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P. J. O'Rourke

56 quotes

P. J. O'Rourke (1947–2022) was an American political satirist and journalist known for his sharp, irreverent commentary on politics, economics, and culture. A self-described "Republican Party reptile," O'Rourke brought libertarian sensibilities and laugh-out-loud humor to subjects that most writers treat with deadly seriousness.

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“Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Happiness

All Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

“People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Anger

“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Family

“You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Best

“What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Government

“Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Education

“When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Politics

“Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Death

“If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Government

“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Men

“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Funny

“Never fight an inanimate object.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Funny

“Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Great

“The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Government

“Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Health

“Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Funny

“Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Failure

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Car

“One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

History

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Women

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Government