“Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.”
Good“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”
Car“Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.”
Good“I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.”
Experience“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.”
Government“There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list.”
Change“We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.”
Government“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”
Pet“Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
Death“Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.”
Funny“The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.”
Good“You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.”
Money“The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.”
Failure“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”
Family“What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.”
Government“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.”
Men“I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.”
Travel“Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.”
Funny“My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.”
Family“After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.”
Women“People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.”
Anger“Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.”
Teacher