“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.”
Men“People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.”
Truth“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.”
Men“What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.”
Government“In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.”
Death“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”
Pet“Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.”
Government“You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.”
Money“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”
Family“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”
Funny“If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.”
Great“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.”
Government“Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.”
Marriage“Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.”
Great“I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.”
Experience“Never fight an inanimate object.”
Funny“People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.”
Truth“If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.”
Government“Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”
Death“Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.”
Health“The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.”
Good“When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.”
Politics