“If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.”
Romantic
“I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.”
ComputersAll Quotes by Louis C. K.
“When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.”
Smile“I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.”
Hope“I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.”
Failure“When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'”
Dating“America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.”
Family“When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.”
Marriage“To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.”
Art“A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together.”
Movies“Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.”
Positive“For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.”
Money“It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.”
Alone“The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.”
Famous“I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.”
Movies“I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.”
Women“Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.”
Power“I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.”
Computers“I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'”
Funny“I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.”
Money“I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.”
Humor