“My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Freedom
“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Diet
“Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Women
“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Pet
“If you're going to America, bring your own food.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Food
“Polite conversation is rarely either.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Funny
“Andy Warhol made fame more famous.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Famous
“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Life
“If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Nature
“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Great
“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Death
“You're only as good as your last haircut.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Funny
“If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Future
“As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Teen
“Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Love
“All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.”
— Fran Lebowitz
God
“Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Art
“You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Hope
“Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Nature
“I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.”
— Fran Lebowitz
Experience