“Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.”
Men“Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.”
Men“Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.”
Men“The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.”
Family“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Failure“Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.”
Music“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.”
Education“A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.”
Parenting“I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.”
God“If you have no faith, you've lost your battle.”
Faith“I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Good“Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.”
Marriage“Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.”
Best“My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.”
Parenting“Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.”
Age“The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.”
Parenting“I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal.”
Education“We're not raising children with the love that we need to.”
Love“Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.”
Home“Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.”
Women“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”
Funny“People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.”
Forgiveness