“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”
Funny“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
Funny“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”
Funny“Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.”
Best“I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Good“Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.”
Hope“Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.”
Business“I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.”
Love“The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.”
Future“Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.”
Family“I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.”
Love“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Failure“Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.”
Age“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.”
Education“My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.”
Parenting“Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.”
Peace“The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.”
Future“Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.”
Women“Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”
Love“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”
Funny“Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.”
Home“Gray hair is God's graffiti.”
God