“Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.”
Food“Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.”
Family“Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.”
Food“Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.”
Family“Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.”
Peace“We're not raising children with the love that we need to.”
Love“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
Failure“I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.”
Men“Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.”
Women“Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.”
Best“The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.”
Future“A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.”
Parenting“Gray hair is God's graffiti.”
God“Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.”
Work“Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.”
Music“I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Good“The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.”
Future“The heart of marriage is memories and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.”
Anniversary“You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.”
Humor“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”
Funny“Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.”
Men“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”
Funny