“Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.”
Peace“The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.”
Parenting“Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.”
Peace“The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.”
Parenting“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.”
Funny“We're not raising children with the love that we need to.”
Love“I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.”
God“I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.”
Men“I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal.”
Education“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”
Parenting“My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.”
Parenting“Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.”
Women“The heart of marriage is memories and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.”
Anniversary“Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.”
Food“I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Good“A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.”
Funny“Gray hair is God's graffiti.”
God“People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.”
Forgiveness“Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”
Love“The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.”
Future“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”
Funny“Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.”
Hope