“The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'”
Best“If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”
Love“The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'”
Best“The United States never lost a war or won a conference.”
War“America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.”
Education“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”
Experience“The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”
Politics“If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.”
Business“Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.”
Finance“Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.”
Funny“I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.”
War“Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.”
War“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.”
Sports“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Government“It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.”
Government“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
Funny“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
Life“In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.”
Time“On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.”
Government“So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.”
Family“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”
Money“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.”
Legal