“America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.”
Education“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”
Government“America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.”
Education“The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.”
Time“Politics is applesauce.”
Politics“Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.”
Best“If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”
Love“On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.”
Government“Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.”
Good“If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.”
Business“Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.”
Government“It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”
Business“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.”
Legal“The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.”
Education“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”
Men“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
Life“Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.”
Government“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Government“We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.”
Good“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
Funny“We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?”
Business“Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.”
Art