“It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.”
Government“It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.”
Good“It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.”
Government“You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.”
War“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
Life“Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.”
War“On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.”
Government“Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.”
Money“It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”
Business“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.”
Learning“We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?”
Business“Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.”
Art“Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.”
Finance“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”
Government“Politics is applesauce.”
Politics“The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'”
Best“Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.”
Best“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.”
Sports“Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.”
War“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”
Experience“A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.”
Truth“In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.”
Time