“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”
Time“I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.”
Funny“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”
Time“The best way out of a difficulty is through it.”
Best“If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.”
Business“Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.”
Government“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”
Men“A fool and his money are soon elected.”
Money“The United States never lost a war or won a conference.”
War“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.”
Sports“There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.”
Education“You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.”
War“The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.”
Best“I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.”
Funny“If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.”
Politics“It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”
Business“It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.”
Government“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Government“It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.”
Good“A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.”
Truth“If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.”
Government“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
Funny