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Mark Twain

100 quotes

Mark Twain (1835–1910) was the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens, an American writer, humorist, and lecturer. Widely considered the "father of American literature," Twain is best known for *The Adventures of Tom Sawyer* and *Adventures of Huckleberry Finn*. His razor-sharp humor and social commentary have made him one of the most quoted writers in the English language.

“Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.”

— Mark Twain

Humor

All Quotes by Mark Twain

“Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.”

— Mark Twain

God

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

— Mark Twain

Money

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

— Mark Twain

Funny

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.”

— Mark Twain

Politics

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”

— Mark Twain

Education

“Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.”

— Mark Twain

Marriage

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.”

— Mark Twain

Health

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

— Mark Twain

Success

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

— Mark Twain

Education

“The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.”

— Mark Twain

Society

“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.”

— Mark Twain

Good

“Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.”

— Mark Twain

God

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

— Mark Twain

Death

“It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.”

— Mark Twain

Best

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

— Mark Twain

Motivational

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

— Mark Twain

Death

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

— Mark Twain

Funny

“All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.”

— Mark Twain

Success

“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”

— Mark Twain

Humor

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

— Mark Twain

Forgiveness