“Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.”
Marriage“When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.”
Respect“Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.”
Marriage“Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.”
Truth“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Death“Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.”
Truth“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
Funny“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
Education“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”
Business“Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.”
Business“I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.”
Intelligence“Don't let schooling interfere with your education.”
Education“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”
Humor“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”
Life“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
Money“Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.”
Truth“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”
Love“To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.”
Good“Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.”
Best“When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.”
Anger“I never let schooling interfere with my education.”
Education“Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.”
Government