“The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.”
Failure“Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.”
Faith“The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.”
Failure“Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
Fear“Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.”
Anniversary“All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.”
Men“No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.”
Great“For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.”
Marriage“In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.”
Politics“A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.”
Best“A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.”
Love“Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.”
Relationship“Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.”
Work“We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.”
Knowledge“Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”
Love“Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.”
Religion“The only really happy folk are married women and single men.”
Men“It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.”
Men“Time stays, we go.”
Time“Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.”
Marriage“Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.”
Poetry“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”
Funny