“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
Age
“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”
FutureAll Quotes by George Burns
“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
Money“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
Funny“I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.”
Money“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”
Age“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”
Funny“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”
Failure“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
Age“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.”
Future“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”
Age“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
Age“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
Funny“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”
Age“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”
Age“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”
Good“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.”
Time“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”
Failure“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
Family“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”
Future“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”
Age