“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”
Age
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
FunnyAll Quotes by George Burns
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
Funny“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”
Good“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.”
Future“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”
Funny“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
Age“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
Money“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”
Failure“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”
Age“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”
Age“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
Age“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
Funny“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”
Age“I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.”
Money“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”
Age“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.”
Time“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”
Future“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
Age“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
Family“At my age flowers scare me.”
Age