“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.”
Future
“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”
FunnyAll Quotes by George Burns
“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”
Age“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”
Age“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
Age“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”
Funny“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”
Age“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”
Failure“I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.”
Money“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”
Failure“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”
Age“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”
Good“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
Funny“At my age flowers scare me.”
Age“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”
Age“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
Age“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
Family“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.”
Time“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
Money“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
Funny“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
Age