“A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.”
Society
“I don't know anything about computers.”
ComputersAll Quotes by Adam Carolla
“All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.”
Government“Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.”
Patriotism“I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.”
Freedom“People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'”
Money“I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.”
Car“My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.”
Education“I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.”
Future“I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.”
Age“You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.”
Society“I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.”
Car“It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.”
Funny“I don't know anything about computers.”
Computers“If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.”
Business“The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.”
Beauty“My first car was a motorcycle.”
Car“When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn't imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I'm gone for six days it feels like too much.”
Christmas“I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.”
Family“I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.”
Health“If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?”
Funny