“As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined.”
Women“Most women are wise to the fact that lots of men love a cat-fight, and thus go out of their way not to give them one.”
Women“As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined.”
Women“It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.”
Wisdom“'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification.”
Women“No matter how old and glorious the models, sad indeed is the woman who sees fashion as a means of self-expression rather than an agent of social control.”
Sad“The truth of the matter is, beauty is a specific thing, rare and fleeting. Some of us have it in our teens, 20s and 30s and then lose it most of us have it not at all. And that's perfectly okay. But lying to yourself that you have it when you don't seems to me simple-minded at best and psychotic at worst.”
Beauty“My dad didn't drive - the only dad I knew who didn't.”
Dad“What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?”
Beauty“Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.”
Women“Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable.”
Alone“From paying off friends' tax bills to rescuing stray dogs and stuffing £20 notes into the hands of homeless people, I can't get rid of my money fast enough.”
Money“It may be a cliche, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself.”
Christmas“As I get older I think, contrary to modern assumption but in line with the old Lerner and Lowe song, that it would actually benefit both them and society if - to quote Professor Higgins - a woman could be more like a man.”
Society“When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio?”
Women“When I moved out of London 13 years ago, I found a whole other reason not to drive. This was because my new husband Dan, unlike my dad, did drive, and this became a great source of fun and adventure.”
Dad“I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness.”
Age“The money I pay for my cultural experiences came willingly from my own pocket - they were not the result of bread being removed from the mouths of the poor so that Miss Thing here could mince off to the circus smelling of roses.”
Money“Shame, like beauty, is often in the eye of the beholder.”
Beauty“I have experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from men, but I have also experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from women, usually when I failed to respond to their advances.”
Jealousy“The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.”
Fear“Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist.”
Respect