“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”
History“Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.”
Imagination“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”
History“Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.”
Women“Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.”
Men“Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.”
Education“Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.”
Art“Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.”
Future“Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”
Fear“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”
Sports“Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.”
Failure“Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.”
Change“Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.”
Patriotism“Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.”
Society“To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.”
Positive“Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.”
Experience“Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.”
God“Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.”
Politics“Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.”
Technology“Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”
Intelligence“Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.”
Patience“Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.”
Truth