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Ambrose Bierce

81 quotes

Ambrose Bierce (1842–circa 1914) was an American short story writer, journalist, and satirist best known for his darkly humorous *The Devil's Dictionary*, which redefined common words with biting cynicism. A Civil War veteran, Bierce brought a sharp, unsentimental eye to American life and politics.

“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Business

All Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

“Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Good

“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Love

“Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Art

“Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Politics

“Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Experience

“Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Power

“Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Positive

“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”

— Ambrose Bierce

History

“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Patience

“Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Technology

“Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.”

— Ambrose Bierce

God

“Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Religion

“Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Patriotism

“Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Great

“Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Fear

“To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Positive

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Mom

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Legal

“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Failure

“We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Attitude