“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.”
Patience“Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.”
Beauty“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.”
Patience“Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.”
Technology“Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.”
Education“Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.”
Great“Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.”
Men“Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.”
Good“Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.”
Truth“Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.”
Experience“Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”
Education“Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”
Intelligence“Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.”
Knowledge“Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.”
Happiness“Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.”
Patriotism“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”
Sports“Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.”
Success“Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”
Fear“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”
Mom“War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.”
God“The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.”
History“Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.”
Failure