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Ambrose Bierce

81 quotes

Ambrose Bierce (1842–circa 1914) was an American short story writer, journalist, and satirist best known for his darkly humorous *The Devil's Dictionary*, which redefined common words with biting cynicism. A Civil War veteran, Bierce brought a sharp, unsentimental eye to American life and politics.

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Legal

All Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

“Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Money

“What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Good

“Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Great

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Legal

“The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Business

“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”

— Ambrose Bierce

History

“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Sports

“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Politics

“It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Change

“Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Men

“Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Knowledge

“Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Men

“Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Art

“Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Famous

“Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Truth

“Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Fear

“We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Attitude

“Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Happiness

“Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Intelligence

“Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Politics