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Ambrose Bierce

81 quotes

Ambrose Bierce (1842–circa 1914) was an American short story writer, journalist, and satirist best known for his darkly humorous *The Devil's Dictionary*, which redefined common words with biting cynicism. A Civil War veteran, Bierce brought a sharp, unsentimental eye to American life and politics.

“Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Politics

All Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

“Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Religion

“Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.”

— Ambrose Bierce

God

“Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Knowledge

“Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Politics

“Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Men

“War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.”

— Ambrose Bierce

God

“Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Great

“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Politics

“History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.”

— Ambrose Bierce

History

“Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Experience

“Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Power

“Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Patriotism

“Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Society

“Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Education

“Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Success

“Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Experience

“Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Marriage

“Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Change

“Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Fear

“The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.”

— Ambrose Bierce

History